CONCORD, N.H. (CBS) — A New Hampshire man is under arrest after allegedly assaulting a grocery store employee early Tuesday morning.

Police say a female employee was taking boxes out to the dumpster when a man approached her asking if she needed help. The man, whom police identified as 21-year-old Jacob May, then allegedly claimed he was a vampire and began running towards her.

Police say May followed her as she ran inside the store yelling for help. The female told police May yelled, “just touch me, I can save you.” May allegedly wrapped his arms around her when she fell to the ground. Police say May then attacked another employee who tried to fight him off.

Police arrived a short time later. May allegedly told a responding officer that he was a “vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band.”

Police identified May as a suspect for a home invasion that occurred two days prior. Police say in both incidents, May was likely under the influence of either drugs or alcohol. Continue Reading

Uuuhh ya think?

If this guy wasn’t under the influence of drugs, we would have a lot more to worry about.

Other than the attacking part, it kind of sounds like this guy may have just laid down the world’s worst pickup line.

Some people go for claiming they’re a lawyer, a doctor, or Brad Pitt’s cousin. But this guy went straight to, “vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band.”

I mean the last one could have been somewhat believable, but you can’t just lump them all in there together.

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